Cooking Corner: Barbecue tips and treats

by Dobbin

For that successful barbecue, you need to light up in a fairly sheltered spot and ensure that the smoke doesn't end up stinking out the neighbours' (or your) washing. Light the barbecue well in advance. Never use liquids to light it; use solid firelighter blocks. Use charcoal and light the barbecue. Leave until the coals glow white hot and no flames are visible. Make sure you never leave the barbecue unattended. Charcoal burns hot enough to make iron, so be careful. Outdoor cooking has its risks, so make sure you have an extinguisher or a bucket of sand ready, just in case. In my experience, drunk or very drunk people shouldn't be left near barbecues, and if you're cooking on a barbecue, go easy on the alcohol.

If you are using a gas barbecue, make sure the gas bottle is connected properly, and follow the manufacturer's instructions. If you're using one of these, though, you might as well cook indoors.

Next you need to put your selected food on the barbecue. Its best to wrap fish in aluminium foil as it could fall onto the coals.

When cooking sausages, prick the sausages and turn fairly frequently. Cook the bigger pieces of meat first as they'll take longer. If you are making your own kebabs, soak the wooden skewers in water first so they don't burn, or if you are using metal skewers ensure you use oven gloves to remove them from the grill. I often add a few sprigs of herbs to the barbecue to get the smell onto the food. This works with thyme, basil or oregano.

Here are some summer ideas.

Foolproof salad dressing

Here is my secret recipe for foolproof salad dressing:

One tablespoon of ketchup

One tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

One tablespoon balsamic vinegar

One half teaspoon of mustard (use a 'low heat' mustard)

One sugar cube

Stir well. The ketchup has some emulsifiers in it which will help the oil and vinegar mix.

This will give enough dressing for a medium salad.

A good salad

This is more a salsa than salad I suppose.

One mango, diced

One papaya, diced

One small red onion, diced

Three teaspoons lime juice

One chilli, deseeded and chopped

Two teaspoons chopped fresh coriander

Two teaspoons shredded fresh mint

Put all the ingredients in a big bowl and toss. Serve with rocket, red chicory or oak leaf lettuce.

Home made burgers.

This will make around 6 large burgers

One pound (450g) of minced meat

Three slices of bread

One egg

One teaspoon of mixed herbs (herbs de Provence)

One onion, very finely chopped.

Put the meat in a bowl. Put the three pieces of bread in a food processor and blitz. Add to the meat, crack the egg and mix in. Add the herbs and the chopped onions. Mix well and shape into whatever shape you feel like (Use a cutter if you want!).

On the barbecue grill, put a sheet of aluminium foil to cover the gaps before you light it. Place the burgers on the foil (prevents the burgers disintegrating into the fire!) Leave to cook thoroughly.

Remember to ask your partner if they enjoyed a break from cooking at the end.

Originally published in AM Daily, Discworld MUD. Recovered from the author’s saved transcript; original wording preserved.

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