Cooking Corner: Dibbler's meat pies

by Dobbin

The gods alone know what is inside Dibbler's pies. There's nothing wrong with the pies, well nothing uniquely wrong with them. If your mind can't supply you with a reason not to eat one, then your liver, kidneys and intestines will. In Night Watch, Vimes finds an unexpected swordfish inside one of Dibbler's pies, and who knows what animals he uses when he makes them. C.M.O.T Dibbler also dabbled in Fung Shooey, an ancient Agatean art, which caused the Dragon of Unhappiness to appear in the privy. Mr William de Worde was most displeased. In short, a man who would sell his own grandmother. And everyone else's whole family. Making pies is what Dibbler falls back on when his luck runs out (which is often and with hilarious results). Here are some recipes for some tasty meat pies inspired by CMOT Dibbler which are at least (I hope) edible.

Pie ONE: Steak and Kidney pie

Here's a version of an old favourite. The pie of paupers and kings alike.

Ingredients

(for 6 people)

750g (1 1/2 lb) stewing steak, cut into 2.5 cm (1 inch) cubes

250g (8 oz) lamb's kidneys, with the fat removed and cut into 2.5 cm (1 inch) cubes

2 onions, finely chopped

2 tablespoons of flour

1 1/2 litres of beef stock

2 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon of beef fat (or sunflower oil)

1 teaspoon of chopped parsley

1 packet of flaky pastry (you could make your own or just buy a packet; frozen will do, but defrost it or follow the instructions on the packet)

1 egg

salt and pepper

Method

Preheat the oven to 150 C (300 F) (gas mark 5)

Cook off the onions in one tablespoon of beef fat (or oil) in a big saucepan, and put to one side Season the flour with salt and pepper and put it in a plastic food bag. Add the pieces of beef and kidney, and shake well so that the meat gets covered in the mixture.

Melt the rest of the beef fat in a big saucepan (use the same one as in cooking the onions, you can clean it if you want but there is no need). When the fat is very hot, add the seasoned meat and cook until it turns a beautiful brown colour. Add your onions, the parsley and the beef stock and bring to the boil.

Cover the saucepan put it in the oven for around 2 hours. Don't hesitate to add more stock if the pan becomes too dry. Use a saucepan with a heatproof lid and handle or a removable handle, or an oven dish you can cover. (You don't want to cook 'fondue de poignet de casserole' now, do you?)

Take the dish/saucepan out of the oven. Place the contents in an oven dish and leave to cool.

Cover with the flaky pastry. Make a hole in the middle of the pastry to let the steam escape (or use a ceramic cooking 'chimney'). Beat the egg, and using a pastry brush, brush the pastry. You could add a design to your pastry (leaves, hearts, birds and so on) using the pastry off-cuts.

Put the dish in the oven. Turn up the heat to 200 C (400 F) (gas mark 6/7) and leave to cook for 25 mins or until the pastry is golden. Serve with Sto-Lat braised cabbage, mustard (or piccalilli) or chutneys of your choice and a good red wine (a Bordeaux[I recommend a St Emillion] or, if you can get it an Australian Cabernet Merlot, a Shiraz Cabernet or a Californian red Zinfandel (don't get the white, it's awful). If you don't drink wine, a beer (take a Stout) will be a good alternative. Those of you who don't drink alcohol will find that elderflower cordial is a good choice.

Pie TWO: Chicken, sweetcorn and tarragon pie

Ingredients

(for 4 people)

25g (1 oz) butter or margarine

25g (1 oz) flour

300ml (1/2 pint) milk

salt and pepper

450g (1 lb) cold cooked chicken, cut into cubes

1/2 level teaspoon of dried tarragon

200g (7 oz) can of sweetcorn, drained

150 ml (1/4 pint) soured cream

212g (7 1/2 oz) packet of puff pastry, thawed

1 beaten egg to glaze.

Method

Melt the butter in a pan and stir in the flour; cook for 2 minutes, stirring.

Remove the mixture from the heat and stir in the milk . Put back on the heat, bring to the boil and cook for a further 2 minutes.

Season well and stir in the chicken, tarragon, cream and sweetcorn.

Roll out the pastry (if it's not ready rolled) so that it's 5cm (2 inches) wider than the dish. Cut a 2.5cm (1 inch) strip from the pastry and use this to line the rim of the pie dish.

Dampen the pastry rim with a little water and cover with the pastry lid. Make a hole in the middle of the pastry for the steam (or use a ceramic chimney).

Brush with the beaten egg.

Bake in an oven at 200 C (400 F) (gas mark 6/7) for 25 mins, or until the crust is golden brown and well risen.

Serve hot or cold with a salad and green vegetables and a dry white wine. Vegetarians could substitute mushrooms or tofu for the chicken.

Pie THREE: Home made pork pie

This is a bit of a difficult pie but well worth every minute you put into it. I've done a version with a boiled egg in the middle which is fantastic.

Ingredients

(for 8 to 12 people)

For the stock:

3 pig's trotters

1 onion, chopped

1 carrot, chopped

2 celery sticks, chopped

4 black peppercorns

sprig of thyme

1 bay leaf

1.8 litres (3 pints) of water

25g (1 oz) or two leaves of gelatine (if needed; see below) for 1.2 litres (2 pints) stock

For the filling:

25g (1 oz) butter

2 onions, chopped

1 teaspoon of chopped, fresh sage

1 teaspoon of chopped, fresh thyme

1 teaspoon of ground mace

1 teaspoon of mustard powder

1kg (2lb 2oz) trimmed pork belly (or shoulder), finely chopped

175g (6 oz) pork back fat (or pork belly), finely chopped

salt and pepper

1 hard boiled egg (optional)

For the pastry:

150ml (1/4 pint) milk

150ml (1/4 pint) water

175g (6oz) lard

675g (1 1/2 lb) plain flour

salt and pepper

1 beaten egg to glaze

Method

Make the jellied stock first:

Place all the ingredients in a big pan (except the gelatine) and bring to a simmer. Cook for 3 hours.

Pass the stock through a sieve.

Boil the stock until it's reduced to 600-900ml (1 - 1 1/2) pints.

Take a spoonful or two of the stock and put in a fridge. Hopefully it will set. If not, add the gelatine to the stock. Keep the stock warm (room temperature) or it will all set.

Now make the filling:

Cook the onions in the butter.

Add the chopped pork belly and fat, seasoning with salt and pepper.

Refrigerate until needed.

Now make the pastry:

Pre heat the oven to 220 C (425 F) (gas mark 7). Use a loose-bottomed or spring-clip tin 20cm (8 inches) in diameter and 6.75-7.5cm (2.5-3 inches) deep Put the milk, water and lard in a big saucepan and bring to the boil.

Add the resulting mixture to the sieved flour (use a head resistant bowl).

Stir to form a dough.

Knead lightly.

Put a quarter of the pastry to one side. Roll the rest of the pastry on a floured surface until large enough to fill the mould and 5 mm (1/4 inch) thick.

Put the pastry in the greased mould, gently fitting it by hand.. leave a little at the top of the mould and trim the excess.

Fill the mould with the pork filling, adding the boiled egg if desired, packing it well in until it's just above the top of the mould. Fold the pastry around the top of the mix.

Using the rest of the pastry, roll out a lid for the pie (same thickness) and press together the edges.

With a 1cm (1/2 inch) plain metal piping nozzle, cut a cross in the centre of the pie. Push the nozzle in to create a hole and leave it in place. Decorate the pie with pastry trimmings (optional).

Brush with beaten egg.

Bake in the hot oven for 30 mins. Reduce the oven to 190 C (375 F) (gas mark 5) and cook for a further hour.

Once the pastry is golden, cover with aluminium foil to prevent burning

Check the pie, inserting a skewer through the nozzle. The skewer must be hot and clean when removed - if not, leave for 15 or 20 mins more to cook. (don't worry about the egg, its already cooked)

Take the pie out of the oven and leave for 5 mins. Brush again with beaten egg and return to the oven for 10-15 minutes to get the shiny glaze.

Remove from the oven, and leave the pie for 30 mins. Using a jug and funnel, pour the jelly stock a little at a time into the pie. The meat will absorb the mixture and the flavour will be fantastic. Repeat until the pie has cooled. Refrigerate before adding more cold jelly and continue until the pie is full.

You can freeze the jelly mix if you have too much, ready for the next pie. Make the pie 48 hours before serving. Serve with piccalilli or chutneys of your choice, and a cool glass of beer or lemonade (by this point, you'll have earned it).