Cooking Corner: Discworld menu
by Dobbin
In real life I live in France, the home of wonderful dishes with exotic sounding names. These include 'Pets de nonne' (nun's farts), fritters to you and me; 'omlette baveuse' (dribble-spit omelette), a runny omelette; or even 'salade de pissenlit' (wet-the-bed salad), dandelion salad. You can even have a jam called 'gratte-cul' (bum scratcher) which is made from the fruits of wild roses. Every year, France imports an astonishing 40,000 tons of snails and 200 billion frogs.
Menu
Aperitif: Ankh-Morporkian and Brown Island energy drink.
Entrée: Ramtops Surprise
Main course: Bes Pelargic kebabs with noodles
Dessert: Klatchian fig tarts
Ankh-Morporkian and Brown Island energy drink
Ingredients
10 Carrots
1 litre (1 3/4 pints) fresh pineapple juice
Method
Slice the carrot into discs, place into boiling water and cook until soft. Leave to cool. Mix with pineapple juice and a pinch of cumin. Blend with a hand-held mixer. Serve chilled in stemmed glasses.
Ramtops Surprise (a savoury 'clafoutis')
Ingredients
450g cherry tomatoes
1 bundle of new white onions
2 eggs
10cl liquid cream
1 tablespoon of corn starch
2 tablespoons milk
50g of fresh goat's milk cheese
Pinch of chilli pepper
1 dash olive oil
A knob of butter
Ground pepper
Method
1) Cut the cherry tomatoes into two. Peel new white onions and finely slice before frying them in the olive oil and butter. Season with the pepper and the chilli pepper.
2) Beat the eggs in a bowl with the liquid cream and add the corn starch (dissolved in the milk)
3) Prepare the clafoutis: Using a clafoutis dish or a 10- or 10 1/2 inch ceramic tart pan, brush the moulds with melted butter and decorate with cherry tomatoes and then onions. Cover with thin sections of goat's cheese. Pour over the cream and egg and milk mix.
4) Cook in the oven for 10 minutes at 210°C (Gas Mark 7). To accompany make a small salad.
Top tips:
To melt butter: use a microwave or a pan on a low heat. Like Dobbin, choose your brush from the DIY department, often less expensive and quite as effective as special "cooks" brush (don't choose the big 'painting the roses red' brush) !
Break the eggs on the work surface, and you will avoid small pieces of shells in the preparation. In a traditional oven (without a fan), the temperature is higher at the top. Your 'clafoutis' will cook more quickly.
Bes Pelargic kebabs with noodles
Ingredients
(for 4 people)
4 skewers
750g beef (rump steak)
For the marinade:
2 stems of lemon grass
1 small green pepper
2 shallots
2 cloves of garlic
1 small piece of ginger
2 tablespoons nuoc-mam (fish sauce)
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 lime, squeezed
Olive oil
Salt
For the noodles:
400g noodles
2 tablespoons nuoc-mam (fish sauce)
1 shallot
5 mint leaves
5 coriander leaves
1 teaspoon sugar
3 tablespoons soya sauce
1/2 lime, squeezed
2 teaspoons of groundnut oil (if you're allergic, use sesame or an alternative non allergic)
Dash of olive oil
Salt
Method
Cut the meat into cubes and slide onto wooden skewers. Season the meat. Prepare the marinade: Cut the lemon grass finely, cut the shallot and the ginger, crush the garlic, remove the seeds from the pepper and cut it into small pieces. Mix with the sugar, the nuoc-mam, the lime juice and water. Coat the meat with the mixture and let it marinate for between 3 and 24 hours. Cook in a frying pan in the olive oil.
Boil some water and cook your noodles as per the instructions on the packet.
Take a large mixing bowl and add the leaves of the coriander and mint. Add the shallot (finely chopped), and the lime juice. Add the nuoc-mam and the soy sauce and the groundnut oil (or alternative), add the sugar and mix. Drain your noodles and toss them in your mixing bowl with the sauce.
Klatchian fig tarts
Ingredients
(for 4 people)
2 packets shortcrust pastry
600g fresh figs
4 tablespoons powdered almond
4 tablespoons brown sugar
4 teaspoons balsamic vinegar
Icing sugar
50g soft nougat
Pinch of ground cinnamon
Maple syrup (optional)
Method
Cut out four discs of pastry using a bowl as a template.
Line a baking tray with greaseproof paper and butter it Place the discs onto the paper and prick them with a fork. Leave in a cool place. Preheat the oven to 210°C (Gas Mark 7)
Mix the brown sugar with the almond powder. Spread this mixture our a little over the pastry, then add the finely sliced figs. Slice the figs thus: horizontal top and tail them, then vertically slice them (they look much more attractive done this way). Cut the nougat in cubes and sprinkle on and add a small knob of butter. Add a little brown sugar, a pinch of cinnamon and a dash of balsamic vinegar. Cook with the oven for 10 minutes at 210 °C (Gas Mark 7).
Decorate with icing sugar, and serve with maple syrup or ice cream.
Next month, we'll be looking at Rimfall soup.